Wednesday, 24 March 2010

British Agent 700 Confidential report


Arusha, Tanzania. 24th March 2010.


Immigration officially suspect I am either a spy or terroriest. Meetings today with immigration to discover why and whether they are serious didn't happen and are rescheuled for tomorrow, unknown time.

British Consulate (Dar) informed of immigration's accusations and planning appropriate response: papers from immigration currently lodged with consul, to be forwarded to London for immediate action if served with deportation order. Advised on reciept in London, FCO will pass papers to Foreign Secretary D. Milliband, whereupon Tanzanian High Commisioner will be summoned to explain nature of acusation.

Meeting tomorrow at immigration to explain likely international diplomatic consequences of continuing with suspicions. Strong possibility officer in question will back down as police and army have no suspicion and he is extremely isolated. If not, injunction will be sought in High Court against further action until all avenues of appeal have been exhausted. In unlikely event of deportation, request debriefing before media scum descend.

Further report expected 25/03/2010, power permitting...


  1. Should you be joking like this? Who is reading it. Could they take it seriously?

  2. Please be cautious with making jokes like this. Humour could be lost in translation. You'll turn my hair grey with posts like this.

  3. Unreal. Thanks for keeping us posted. Prayed.

  4. Hugs and prayers in abundance

  5. Lol, Dr B. As the others have said, this subtle humour might be lost on petty officialdom -- but very funny nonetheless.

    It is a real shame that you have been subjected to all this nonsense. I hope you can overcome it once and for all soon. And occasionally cook a pizza.