Tuesday, 15 December 2009

From Brave Mancub to Tearful Clingon

It's been a manic and stressful few days (see previous post). Our friends and our church family have been absolutely amazing, and I'm not sure where Mr B would be now if it weren't for others organising things or finding out information on our behalf.

I have managed to be around for the kids waking up, and got them changed, dressed, breakfasted, toothbrushed and armed with nappies and toys. And then I have unceremoniously dumped them with people who were aquaintances and who are now firm friends. Most days I have managed to make it back to lunch with them. I have put the Mancub down for his nap, in various places, but have not been there when he woke. I have collected kids, in a rush, driven them home, arriving at normal toothbrushing and bed time, found them food, brushed teeth, sort of washed them and put them in bed. And I have answered and made dozens of calls and texts at the same time. I have got them, finally, to bed, and then set about preparing for the next day: getting together breakfast things, water, tissues, baby wipes (no water at the police station), paracetamol (no sleep at the police station) for Mr B and W, and setting out breakfast things, nappy bags and toys so that we can manage a quick get away the next morning, all while making and answering dozens of calls and texts. And then I have collapsed into bed, trying to sleep.

I was really trying to keep things as normal as possible for the kids, being around at the important times, and our friends were absolutely fantastic, taking the kids or staying here with them, playing, changing nappies, and sometimes bringing groceries. But since Mr B had had all his things, including phone, confiscated, the only way he could find out anything, contact anyone, hear the news (and eat and drink) was if I was there. And when I brought food they let W out of the lockup for a blessed while to eat, so we tried to make meals last a loooong time! (I also sometimes ended up locked in with him for a few hours) We also ended up feeding various other people who were put in the same cupboard room at various points, including a couple of street children who I belive had committed the terrible crime of having nowhere to go.

Obviously things were not normal enough for the Mancub. Kitty is slightly fragile, but mainly due to a string of late nights I think. The Mancub has developed major separation anxiety. This morning he sobbed when I said I was off to brush my teeth. When I took him with me he sobbed because he wanted all his cars (the orange car, yellow car, wooden car, yellow bus, red fire-engine, blue train, red train, big soft car and wooden zebra, which seems to be an honorary vehicle). When I said he could bring the cars he sobbed because he couldn't carry them all, so I had to help and I ended up sitting on the toilet seat with a Mancub on my lap clutching an armload of toys while brushing my teeth. After that I decided that my plans for well overdue grocery shopping and other tasks would have to be shelved for the day, so we sat down on the floor with him on my lap to read some tractor books. The first time he dropped a car he slid off my knee to get it, then panicked and scrabled quickly back on. The second time he dropped it he streeeeetched to get it without getting off my knee. He forgot for some periods during the morning, and danced around the room very happily with my mobile phone, testing out all the ring tones at one point, and he was VERY happy when Mr B appeared back from reporting for bail (see picture), but sobbed if I tried to go to the kitchen to make tea, or to the loo. He sobbed and cried "cuddle Mamma" for an hour at nap time, despite lots of reassurance, before finally falling asleep.

I was close to tears quite a few times over the last few days, but managed to keep going - there was too much to do and I didn't want to upset the kids, or Mr B. But my clingy boy was too much for me today and I cried quietly into his hair while he squeezed himself firmly onto my lap once more this morning, and again while he sobbed himself to sleep. Forget curtains, forget groceries, forget the miriad of other things that had seemed so important last week for creating a comfortable home and preparing for Christmas, I think I'm going to be at home for a few days.


  1. Thought of all sorts of scenarios as to why no blog, e-mail, skype, but this beats the lot. Feel for you all deeply. Being together is what really matters. Lovely how other people were there for you when we could not be. Thankyou to them all. lots of love.

  2. Good grief! Glad Mr B (and W) are safely out of jail. What an ordeal. Praying security and normality return soon to you all.

  3. Sorry to hear that V., I hope you are feeling better now; mancub is seriously in need of a jolly big fire engine for Christmas. Thinking about you here in the frozen north.